I'm laying in your front yard are you home
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
either way he was missing a nipple.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
