i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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