He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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