I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
