I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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