Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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