As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need a beard to bite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
