we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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