It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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