I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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