We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
