dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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