i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
