she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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