i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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