Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
