elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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