just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
