it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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