i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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