ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
