handjob tips. give me some.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize