Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
