Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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