Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
