I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize