Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
