question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
