I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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