haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
