Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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