I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
