dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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