You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
