One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize