My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Your cock deserves a montage
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
