is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
