Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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