party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
