As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
