i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
