I'm eating all of the evidence.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
