is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
