I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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