Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
