some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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