Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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