What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
