Dual....:-)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
