I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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