There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize