You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
