so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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