i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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