Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
