Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
