Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
