Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
