Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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