what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
