Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
