Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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