I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize