shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
someone threw a dead crab at me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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