You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
