My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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